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Willpower and decision fatigue explained and how we can use it to reach our goals

Lets dig right into this topic because I believe the Willpower and decision fatigue explained and how we can use it to reach our goals title woke up your interest right away if you are interested in this sort of stuff. I know I am!

Our willpower gets depleted with every decision we make. This is why successful people such as Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg wears same outfit.

Conclusion:
Willpower might NOT be the best answer in order to achieve your goals.

Solution:

  1. Plan everything the night before
    – This will reduce your decision fatigue for the next day.
    – e.i : put out the outfit to wear. Prepare breakfast. Plan when to go to grocery store and have a list on what to buy. Write down your What if then List.
  2. Work on your goals first thing in the morning
    – The amount of our “willpower” is at its highest in the mornings. Why? Because we haven’t reached Decision Fatigue yet.
    so…..
    make sure to tackle your goals first 30 min in the morning.
  3. Pre-Commit
    – If you feel accountable you are more likely to stick with the commitments you’ve made.
    – e.i : Book courses with deadlines. Prepay memberships or courses you know will benefit you. Make plans to exercise with a friend. If you already promised someone to show up, you are less likely to back out.
  4. Use the 5 Second Rule
    – According to Mel Robbins whenever you have an instinct to act on something, you MUST physically move within 5 seconds. Otherwise your brain will talk you out of it.xx

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site makeover

site makeover

Looking super serious for no damn reason…

I have some exciting news, this site is going to get a fresh makeover, We have so many good ideas that have been going back and forth for a while now. But the site makeover is finally about to happen and I think you guys are going to like it more.
I don’t want to go true too much of the site makeover details, but one of the reasons I am looking forward to it is because  I believe it will provide a broader content that will comply with a broader audience.
Well its hard to explain without giving away too much. And the reason why I am being secretive about the whole makeover is not to sound cool but because we need to finalize the site details.

We are aiming for the new site to be out by Wednesday next week!

It’s funny because this site started as a place for me and Ambrose to show “prove” our relationship for the Australian immigration. That didn’t work out as planned since Ambrose has not contributed once since we started this site 😉
Then it also turned into  a place my friends and family back in Europe could read about my everyday life after i choose to move across the world.
Looking back now, somewhere along the way this site developed into my private journal. Well maybe not so private but it is has been both amusing and interesting to go back and see what I was doing a couple of years back.

The last part – private journal, is my favorite. This site acts as a great reminder of all the good times. But it also reminds me how sometimes what you write is totally dishonest. Not what appends but how some pictures and description of a day seems really amazing but you really just felt like shit.

And that is one major detail that will change in this so-called site makeover.
The intention of this site is honest, authentic and kind of a “it is as it is” mentality as my favorite guy Eckhart Tolle said.
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How to be a tourist in Bowral in 24h

I promised to come back with the details from the recovery in Bowral. Recovery is what they call the day after the wedding. Not sure if we have a word for it in Sweden but, whatever they are called I think it’s a great idea to have them. It’s quite nice to catch up with everyone the day after a wedding and talk about the big day. Especially if you have  destination wedding where people have traveled a long way. Often, the bride and groom don’t have enough time to catch up with all of their gusts, that’s when recoveries come in handy.

However, after rambling on and on about this recovery in Bowral, it turns out I only took one picture from that event…
Need to get back to you on that after I find some pictures. Sorry.

Lets instead have a look into how to be a tourist in Bowral in 24h:

how to be a tourist in Bowral in 24hSmall alleys with charming café’s and shops.
Bowral is a perfect little town to just stroll around in.

Right after we arrived in Bowral we had set a lunch-date with Tim, Mia and this amazing little creature – Millie

The recovery took place about 10 minutes outside Bowral, at Briars Inn – Moss Valle

how to be a tourist in Bowral in 24h

Our friend Nour recommended this little pastry place in Bowral.

As you can see both from my face and the awards all over their window…  lets just say this bakery is worth a stop when you are visiting Bowra. We tried their sausage roll, pulled pork pie and their almond croissant. Its called Gumnut Patisserie located on Bong Bong street.

Centennial Vineyards 

how to be a tourist in Bowral in 24hWe did stop to have a quick look at some of the wineries in Bowral. Non of us felt like wine-tasting, instead we enjoyed the beautiful estates and vineyards. And one more thing. This is quite strange but if you like tree’s, Bowral is the place for you. hahah I have never seen that many different types of amazing tree’s in one spot.

 

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Mike & Lucinda’s Wedding in Bowral

Another weekend, another beautiful wedding. This time it was our friends Mike and Lucinda who we were celebrating. Their wedding was in Bowral, a cute town about 1.5 hours from Sydney. After the wedding ceremony we went of for some drinks at the Gibraltar Hotel and then we were all off to Centennial Vineyards for the wedding reception.

The place was really beautiful, especially their terrace. Both me and Ambrose got reminded of Mudgee while walking around the property. Actually the whole of Bowral reminded us a lot of Mudgee. More about the town and the recovery tomorrow, lets have a look at Mike and Lu’s special day…

Btw, I love weddings!

Right after the wedding ceremony – Mr & Mrs Shaw-Taylor <3

The gorgeous bride Lucinda

Ambrose “the usher” with the groom Mike

Right before everyone arrives to the church. Ambrose and Cappa were suppose to be the ushers for the wedding, but neither of them knew what an usher is supposed to do …

Lucinda and her father

haha Mike –  always making me laugh

us <3

The boys

Blurry picture capturing one of the best moments from the wedding

L O V E

 

A big thank you to Mike & Lu for letting us be part of their special day. We love you guys and wish you a forever of happiness! xx

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Renovation

Hi everyone,

This might sound harsh but I really did not want to be in here today. I was on my phone and my laptop throughout the day and at some point I just felt well, overwhelmed for a lack of a better word. I felt like someone was chasing me. Email, respond to this and that, organizing, fixing and attaching with the Visa stuff. And then more, paying bills in Sweden, cancelling Appointments I received for no reason back in Sweden. Dealing with banks and on top of everything picking up the dry cleaning, studying, finding time to meditate. And on and on it went. And I am not even working!

Kind of makes me exhausted writing about this shitty day.

So I decided, a lot less of all the electronic devises for tomorrow. I mean Facebook, Instagram, emails, dealing with any Departments of Immigration, Consulates Dr’s office. Whatever. Tomorrow is Friday and I am going to treat it like a holy Sunday. Or whatever day you would consider “the day of rest”.

I have Ambrose dealing with some Visa stuff now. I just feel sick even looking at the attached documents today. All of it, it’s too much sometimes and the only fair thing to do to yourself in moments like this is to just….rest. Even if it means a couple of hours. I went to the beach for 2 hours, have not been in the water for weeks. Nobody was there and I swam around in the water feeling like everything was nice at that moment. No stress. Especially when I swam under water, there is something with the silence under water that makes you feel like you are out in space or something.

Alright, that’s enough weirdness from me. Lets check out the new sound proof windows that were put in the house today! I get so excited from home renovations. Such an uplifting thing am I right?
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Italy – Oh how I miss you

I want to travel. I need to travel soon! My heart is set on Italy, beautiful, romantic, wonderful Italy. Have you guys traveled to Italy? I feel it is one of the “must” when in Europe.
Why? Well lets see….the food, the history, the monuments, the shopping, the vine, the nature, the coffee, the ice cream, the people, the language, the buildings. And again, the food!

So far I have seen Rome, Naples, San Marino,Venice, Genoa,Vatican City, Ventimiglia, Milan, San Remo and Bologna.
One reason I’ve been there often is because as all European know ( and everyone coming to visit Europe) is that everything is “close by”. So especially the period I lived in Barcelona and Nice, Italy was just a train-ride or a short flight away. Sometimes we drove as well.

Miss having other countries close by haha. Now I am on a giant island far far away from everything! Not complaining though. Australia is home and that means everything to me.

– Coffee break in Naples –

Coffee in Italy is by far one of the best. Ambrose favorite was the small coffee you have standing up. I love having a coffee while sitting down, preferably with this view! Italians don’t mock around with their coffee.
I really enjoyed reading “Ordering Coffee in Italy: the 10 commandments”
It is exactly like that! Might be good to read that article before you start ordering skimmed hazelnut almond latte while in Italy. You can find the article HERE

– Colosseum in Rome –

We were here about 2 years ago. It was a surreal and powerful feeling walking along all that history that is within the walls of Colosseum. I am a big fan of history and Rome did not disappoint in that department.

 

– Hotel terrace in Naples –

When you travel around a couple of countries for a couple of weeks you tend to stay in a lot of different hotels. Here arriving in Naples and finding out that our hotel room came with a massive terrace. I mean really really big. Without any furniture at all, it was just big and empty. So strange but great!

– View from hotel room in Venice –

View from one of the hotels we stayed at in Venice. I loved this hotel. Ambrose hated it. The decor was very classic, old school Italian, I like that style a lot.

 

Such beautiful and powerful buildings everywhere in Italy

-Two of my absolute favorites in the world – Ambrose and food –

– Trevi Fountain in Rome –

– Flood in Venice –

– Mi amore next to one of the canals of Venice –

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Programming your brain using the “If Then Planning”

Went looking for a new car and we both fell in love with this collectors item

Here is a very interesting thing i recently learned about our brain and why we often feel insecure, vulnerable etc whenever we are taking on a massive change.

Examples such as starting dating after you’ve been heartbroken or your partner passed away. Deciding to run a whole marathon when you’ve never before exercised. Or dieting for the first time after a lifetime of obesity.

The reason why the change making you feel insecure and vulnerable is this ; anything that requires you to change your behavior and facing where you are and where/who you want to be caused massive stress in us. And the reason for this is because we focus on the gap between these two “people”. The one you are now, and the one you want to become.
The stress them pops into our head, we feel overwhelmed as our brain starts to focus on the huge amount of work it requires from us to go from one end of the spectrum to the next.

This what 2 things that can help according to my latest idol Mel Robbins :

• Narrow your focus. This means that instead of focusing on the big and overwhelming picture, you focus on what you can do minute by minute. Focus on what you can do in this moment that would help you get from where you are now, till where you want to be.

• Find and write down your Triggers. In case of wanting to diet but you find yourself eating badly. Identify what triggers makes you reach for the food. Is it whenever you are in front of the TV? When you are bored? When you are stressed? Or maybe whenever you have an argument with your partner?

• Next you use something called “If Then Planning”. Psychologist Robert Cialdini suggests this in the case of weight loss : “If/when, after my business lunches, the server asks if I’d like to have dessert, then I will order mint tea.”

Here is how you use this: take your list of Triggers and simply add an “If then planning”.
Here is an example: If I feel bored, then I will go on a walk around the block. Or If I’ll watch TV, then I will have a tea in front of me.
You see, you replace your triggers with already made suggestions for your brain. You wont as easily fall into the trap of autopilot. Instead you are re-training your brain to associate TV with tea, boredom with short walks.

And over time this becomes a natural response, soon you do this automatically.
You can find more on this topic in Business Insider Australia

Give these a try and see how you go. And of course, you can apply these methods in all areas of your life ; work, health, productivity. Good luck. xx

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Book your wedding photographer

We have been going to a lot of weddings these last couple of years. I love weddings, everything about them makes me happy. Cant wait to start planning mine and Ambrose wedding. I already have a couple of details of what I want in my head. It will be in South of Europe. It will all be outdoor, it will be a very intimate wedding with only the absolute closest. My wedding dress will be a lot of lace, open back and I want to wear a veil.

I still have most of it to decide but one decision that is made for sure for our wedding is the wedding photographer. Without a doubt I want my sister Hanie. The only thing is that I also want her as my bridesmaid and it would be nice if she could be a guest and not working on our wedding…..

But she is so good that I actually might have her work on that day. I don’t want to miss having the opportunity to get amazing wedding pictures. I mean, just look at her work!

If you want to book her for your special day, you can find more information on her web page : hanievaladi.photography

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